Life and Love and Why
by Shoe Malfoy
Summary: He stalks past as she turns another page of another book in another section of the library, and he wonders, why?


**"Life And Love And Why"**

**Life and love and why **

**Child, adult, then die **

**All of your hoping **

**And all of your searching **

**For what? **

**Ask me for what am I living **

**Or what gives me strength **

**That I'm willing to die for **

He remembers stalking past her as she turned another page of another book in another section of the library, and now he wonders, why?

She keeps hoping to find something which most likely isn't there. She's searching and searching for answers too bold to be asked. She looks in hidden places for reasons unknown and for solutions impossible.

Yet she is content.

He wonders sometimes that perhaps she could ask him her questions, her queries and discuss her issues that she searches for so relentlessly. She would benefit from him knowledge, perhaps. And better yet, she might give him reason – to live, to love, to wonder. Everything is made so much more interesting when other people are interested in it too. He hears people tell the same stories over and over to different, and sometimes the same, people. They want recognition, attention. And that is what he too craves, but he is too proud to seek it.

**Take away from me **

**This monstrosity **

**'Cause my futile thinking's **

**Not gonna solve nothing tonight **

**Ask me for what am I living **

**Or what gives me strength **

**That I'm willing to die for **

He needs her to be interested in him. What are you living for? Where do you draw your strength in the fight? Why are you willing to give your life for the cause against the Dark Lord?

Her interest, questions, intrigue, would draw him away from himself. He hates himself, the fact that is he more than willing to die for the cause. He is willing to die for completion, freedom, eternal bliss. His reasons are selfish, but then again, isn't everyone selfish? There are the obvious examples of consumerism, globalization, but there are more subtle ones. Why do people give to charities, help the poor, if not only to dispel guilt that they are living better lives than the less fortunate.

**Could it be this **

**Could this be bliss **

**Could it be all that **

**I ever had missed **

**Could it be true **

**Can life be new **

**Can I be used **

**Can I be used **

And as much as he hates his betrayal of his heart's original choice, his bitter attitude, his surroundings, his craving for the bottle, his life, he knows he cannot take his life. People say fight your fears, and that is what he does. He fights himself. He fights himself to restrain, to hold back. He has changed his mind and his ways before, and regretted it after. Now he knows he cannot change himself if not persuaded by another. He cannot laugh, he cannot cry, he cannot show emotion for that would be out of character. He must present the same façade to all who he meets.

All he can do is hope for someone to save him from himself.

**Give me a reason **

**For life and for death **

**A reason for drowning **

**While I hold my breath **

**Something to laugh at **

**A reason to cry **

**With everyone hopeless **

**And hoping for something **

**To hope for **

**Yeah, with something to hope for **

Yet there is not another opportunity for him to stalk by a little slower next time, to tempt fate, to make her see he is different. He stays out of the public eye,keeps low. He brews potions and reflects on the choices he has made, until one day it is all over.

Though he is not an innocent, he is guilty and a wanted man. He hides, invisible as she comes to his den. She has found his hide out. Yet she cannot see him, and he will not reveal himself. He watches as a single tear falls down her cheek, and she apparates.

**Could it be true **

**Can life be new **

**Could it be all that I am **

**Is in You **

**Could it be this **

**Could it be bliss **

**Can it be You **

**Can it be You**

Yes, Severus Snape wonders about life and love and why.


End file.
